I have often thought about how things would have been
different today if that day I would not have got into his car
and exchanged my body for money. I don’t regret any part of
it but I just wonder how things would be. My family would be
still poor, my small sisters would not go to schools and my
father would beat my mother still every night as she didn’t
give him a boy but girl.
Today as I am sitting in my 2-bhk apartment in Noida; I am at
least complete in some ways. I am a prostitute and I chose
this profession on my own terms. I did it out of my own
needs because money was very important for me when I
came in this city few months ago. I came here from Kanpur
with certain dreams of making it big. My aunt had a massage
parlour and on her behest I joined her. But she was a clever
woman, she didn’t give me the regular salary she gave to
other girls and she made me work more than usual. She said I
lived with her and she gave me food and everything, so what
she gave me was enough. I found there was something fishy
about the girls who worked in these parlours; they didn’t talk
to me much. Then I saw one day a girl getting into the car of
a man who often came in our parlour and she only attended
him. At that time I couldn’t understand the whole scenario
but later I got to know all girls often went with these men to
earn extra money and indulged in sexual activities with them.
My aunt maybe did not have a clue about this or did not
want to include herself in this.
Rupali, a friend I made there, told me that they all were poor
and going for two hours with these men gave them a lot of
money they needed. She knew about my financial problems
as well and suggested me this path but I scared of all this. For
me sex was something sacred and it should be done only
after marriage. After some time she started maintaining a
distance from me as she saw how much repelled I was
There was a 35-year old man, Anil who came in the parlour
now and then. I was the one who attended him because he
called me only among the girls. He had a nice warm attitude
towards me. He often tipped me after massage. One fine day,
he asked me to go with him for coffee. I didn’t know what to
say. He said the parlour was closed on Sunday and we could
meet but still I was not sure of it.
This time when he left, he gave me a tip of five hundred and
left a note which said “meet me on Sunday at one near the
I didn’t tell anybody about this. That very night my mother
called, she started grieving about how a massive calamity had
happened upon my family. My father had his first heart
attack and somehow he survived but they needed money.
My sisters were too small to do any chores. I was my
mother’s only hope.
I told about the problems of my house to my aunt but she
said she can’t give me so much money. I was in a perplexed
state about how to help my family.
Sunday came and I met Anil. He got his car and we went to
CCD. He complimented me about how beautiful I was. We
talked a lot that day telling each other about ourselves. After
that around four, he took me to an empty, isolated kind of
place. We both were alone there; he put a strand of my hair
behind my ear and coming close kissed me. I was stunned at
what he just did. He knew I was not comfortable and got
back. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I don’t do
things like this like other girls. He looked weirdly at me first
and then started laughing.
He said he understood and drove me back to the parlour. But
he gave me his number and said that I could give him a call if
I changed my mind.
Again that night my mother called and she sobbed on phone
asking me if I can do something. I promised her I’ll soon send
her some money.
I was broken. There were these problems at one hand and
laid the temptation at the other which would solve all my
problems. I tried discussing everything with Rupali. She said
“All this is okay. Go ahead. Anil is very rich man. You should
be lucky; he has never picked any of us. And don’t think
much, the money once starts coming in will make you forget
all your problems.”
The next day I called Anil and I said I was ready. He said he
will meet me the next day at one at the same place.
Making some excuse the next day to my aunt I went outside.
He took me to a flat which was very beautiful and had all the
luxuries. He got some juice for me. First he tried talking to
me, but soon he came close and took me to the room. He
slowly undressed me, caressing me with one hand. He
started kissing me passionately and soon we were on bed.
By the time I woke up it was seven, he was sitting on the
sofa. He smiled at me and said “Get dressed, I’ll drive you
back.” As I reached my destination, he gave me a bundle of
money which I kept in my handbag. He said he’ll meet me
soon again and drove off.
My aunt was furious when I reached home. She asked me
numerous questions. I tried making excuses but she knew I
had changed in some way or another and didn’t ask me
Now and then, I started going out with Anil. He gave me a lot
of money as long as I kept him satisfied and fulfilled all his
I sent money to my house and everything was going well. But
I knew I had to move out of my aunt’s house. I was self-
sufficient now to have a place on rent. So I moved out
eventually and started my new life.
She moved into a new dimension in her life now. She left all
her beliefs and morals behind but she was happy. She knew it
was a profession which was considered disrespectful but she
felt more safe somewhere. All the men she went out with
had their own stories and they tried to escape into her arms
as she provided solace to them. But she was different, she
became independent, she started studying as well. She loved
literature and enrolled herself in some programme. Her
family was more than happy now and she knew the life she
has chosen was never the life she expected it to be.
Today sitting in her apartment, she knows she might use her
body to get money but her soul is still pious and somewhere
she might stop this. But she is not shameful of what she does.
She usually keeps it to herself but yes she goes to the temple
and meet an old lady next door with whom she chit-chats
Her work usually happens late at night and she returns in the
morning. Thus she really doesn’t know whether a man will
marry her or not because her dream of happily-ever after
can’t be really fulfilled. But still she believes someday
somewhere she will meet somebody who will love her for
what she is and for not what she does.