PROSTITUTE BY CHANCE OR BY CHOICE?

I have often thought about how things would have been

different today if that day I would not have got into his car

and exchanged my body for money. I don’t regret any part of

it but I just wonder how things would be. My family would be

still poor, my small sisters would not go to schools and my

father would beat my mother still every night as she didn’t

give him a boy but girl.

Today as I am sitting in my 2-bhk apartment in Noida; I am at

least complete in some ways. I am a prostitute and I chose

this profession on my own terms. I did it out of my own

needs because money was very important for me when I

came in this city few months ago. I came here from Kanpur

with certain dreams of making it big. My aunt had a massage

parlour and on her behest I joined her. But she was a clever

woman, she didn’t give me the regular salary she gave to

other girls and she made me work more than usual. She said I

lived with her and she gave me food and everything, so what

she gave me was enough. I found there was something fishy

about the girls who worked in these parlours; they didn’t talk

to me much. Then I saw one day a girl getting into the car of

a man who often came in our parlour and she only attended

him. At that time I couldn’t understand the whole scenario

but later I got to know all girls often went with these men to

earn extra money and indulged in sexual activities with them.

My aunt maybe did not have a clue about this or did not

want to include herself in this.

Rupali, a friend I made there, told me that they all were poor

and going for two hours with these men gave them a lot of

money they needed. She knew about my financial problems

as well and suggested me this path but I scared of all this. For

me sex was something sacred and it should be done only

after marriage. After some time she started maintaining a

distance from me as she saw how much repelled I was

towards this.

There was a 35-year old man, Anil who came in the parlour

now and then. I was the one who attended him because he

called me only among the girls. He had a nice warm attitude

towards me. He often tipped me after massage. One fine day,

he asked me to go with him for coffee. I didn’t know what to

say. He said the parlour was closed on Sunday and we could

meet but still I was not sure of it.

This time when he left, he gave me a tip of five hundred and

left a note which said “meet me on Sunday at one near the

sweet-shop”.

I didn’t tell anybody about this. That very night my mother

called, she started grieving about how a massive calamity had

happened upon my family. My father had his first heart

attack and somehow he survived but they needed money.

My sisters were too small to do any chores. I was my

mother’s only hope.

I told about the problems of my house to my aunt but she

said she can’t give me so much money. I was in a perplexed

state about how to help my family.

Sunday came and I met Anil. He got his car and we went to

CCD. He complimented me about how beautiful I was. We

talked a lot that day telling each other about ourselves. After

that around four, he took me to an empty, isolated kind of

place. We both were alone there; he put a strand of my hair

behind my ear and coming close kissed me. I was stunned at

what he just did. He knew I was not comfortable and got

back. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I don’t do

things like this like other girls. He looked weirdly at me first

and then started laughing.

He said he understood and drove me back to the parlour. But

he gave me his number and said that I could give him a call if

I changed my mind.

Again that night my mother called and she sobbed on phone

asking me if I can do something. I promised her I’ll soon send

her some money.

I was broken. There were these problems at one hand and

laid the temptation at the other which would solve all my

problems. I tried discussing everything with Rupali. She said

“All this is okay. Go ahead. Anil is very rich man. You should

be lucky; he has never picked any of us. And don’t think

much, the money once starts coming in will make you forget

all your problems.”

The next day I called Anil and I said I was ready. He said he

will meet me the next day at one at the same place.

Making some excuse the next day to my aunt I went outside.

He took me to a flat which was very beautiful and had all the

luxuries. He got some juice for me. First he tried talking to

me, but soon he came close and took me to the room. He

slowly undressed me, caressing me with one hand. He

started kissing me passionately and soon we were on bed.

By the time I woke up it was seven, he was sitting on the

sofa. He smiled at me and said “Get dressed, I’ll drive you

back.” As I reached my destination, he gave me a bundle of

money which I kept in my handbag. He said he’ll meet me

soon again and drove off.

My aunt was furious when I reached home. She asked me

numerous questions. I tried making excuses but she knew I

had changed in some way or another and didn’t ask me

anything further.

Now and then, I started going out with Anil. He gave me a lot

of money as long as I kept him satisfied and fulfilled all his

needs.

I sent money to my house and everything was going well. But

I knew I had to move out of my aunt’s house. I was self-

sufficient now to have a place on rent. So I moved out

eventually and started my new life.

Next phase

She moved into a new dimension in her life now. She left all

her beliefs and morals behind but she was happy. She knew it

was a profession which was considered disrespectful but she

felt more safe somewhere. All the men she went out with

had their own stories and they tried to escape into her arms

as she provided solace to them. But she was different, she

became independent, she started studying as well. She loved

literature and enrolled herself in some programme. Her

family was more than happy now and she knew the life she

has chosen was never the life she expected it to be.

Today sitting in her apartment, she knows she might use her

body to get money but her soul is still pious and somewhere

she might stop this. But she is not shameful of what she does.

She usually keeps it to herself but yes she goes to the temple

and meet an old lady next door with whom she chit-chats

sometimes.

Her work usually happens late at night and she returns in the

morning. Thus she really doesn’t know whether a man will

marry her or not because her dream of happily-ever after

can’t be really fulfilled. But still she believes someday

somewhere she will meet somebody who will love her for

what she is and for not what she does.

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